Anaconda (2025) is a comedy about two filmmakers recreating the hit movie: Anaconda, but making the movie comes with a world of twists, laughs, betrayals, and a terrifyingly large snake. The movie was hilarious and had funny quotes keeping us at the edge of our seats. Here were some of our favorite quotes, be sure to tell us yours! Also, make sure to see our review on whether or not Anaconda was appropriate for kids.

Anaconda (2025) Movie Quotes

 

“What’s waiting for us can change our lives.” – Ana (Daniela Melchior)

 

“Until we settle on a sewer grate.” – Doug (Jack Black)

 

“ We’re on the back of the beast as it slithers menacingly.” – Doug

 

“Wait, this is our wedding video you’re talking about.” – Newly Wed Woman

 

“ I just ran into your mom at the supermarket!” – Doug

 

“ Are you sure you don’t want anything for your birthday? You used to make me celebrate your half birthdays.” – Doug’s Wife

 

“You came! Here you are!” – Doug 

 

“Are we sure this is okay for the kids to watch?” – Malie

 

“Eh. Who cares?” – Griff (Paul Rudd)

 

“Hi [beep]ing love you too! Now kiss me woman.” – Young Griff

 

“That’s probably the best birthday gift I’ve ever received!” – Doug

 

“I have the rights to Anaconda.” – Griff

“What?” – Doug

“I have the rights to Anaconda.” – Griff

 

“I mean my life is totally **** anyway.” – Claire

 

“It’s a good life, you know? It’s a B, B+ life.” – Doug 

 

“What are you doing? Just go make the movie.” – Malie

 

“Ahh! What am I singing?” – Doug

 

“Our lives could be over.” – Doug

 

“I mean… themes.” – Doug and Griff

 

“I almost forgot! I got you this!” – Charlie (Sebastian Sero)

 

“Terrible grandmother. Still sad.” – Santiago (Selton Mello)

 

“ Welcome to Brazil! Let’s meet the snake.” – Santiago

 

“Go ahead, Kenny from the phone.” – Santiago

 

“I’m wearing a onesie!” – Claire (Thandiwe Newton)

 

“Yeah, because you might actually be conscious when the snake comes to finish you off.” – Santiago 

 

“Our snake guy… does he seem bat**** crazy?” – Griff

 

“We would basically say a prayer to the movie gods, begging them to not screw us over.” – Doug

 

“Come and get me you god**** snake!” – Claire

 

“The toothpick, it unlocked a couple aspects of my character for me.” – Griff

 

“The chemistry between you too… It’s like we’re right back in high school.” – Doug

 

“What if… Claire’s character headbutts him?” – Doug

 

“May the sounds of the forest be the music of your dreams.” – Santiago

 

“Oh… ****.” – Griff

 

“Griff! Go! Just move!” – Doug

 

“They’re doing some sort of snake funeral.” – Guy 1

“Snake funeral?” – Guy 2

 

“A friend of mine died once too, and it hurts.” – Griff

“Was it a snake?” – Santiago

 

“That’s where that guy went!” – Kenny (Steve Zahn)

 

“These guys are dangerous, they’ll kill anyone who tries to enter their territory.” – Ana

 

“I like this!” – Griff

 

“Themes.” – Griff

“Themes.” – Doug

 

“Dude, you could be the white Jordan Peele.” – Griff

 

“Welcome to show business, baby. You’re not in it unless you’re being screwed over by your friends.” – Griff

 

“Who gives a ****.” – Griff

“…about IP?’ – Doug

 

“I quit last night. I just didn’t tell anybody yet.” – Doug

 

“Well… plans change, Doug.” – Ana

 

“To the dock.” – Ana

 

“You think I care about gold?” – Juan

 

“Shut up! I don’t know what you’re talking about.” – Juan

 

“For the record, that’s how you headbutt, *****.” – Claire

 

“You don’t know me, I don’t even have kids.” – Claire

 

“Just **** on me, c’mon wizz on me.” – Doug

 

“It’s here.” – Claire

 

“What the ****?!” – Doug

 

“Don’t post that.” – Ice Cube

 

You can purchase discounted movie tickets through this deals site and use them for this film!